this is why your relationship is failing


According to philosopher Alain de Botton, you may well be married to the wrong person, or in the wrong relationship. But why? Read more

scary things can set you free


So you know what you have to do. But it’s scary. So here’s the thing: all sorts of things are scary. In all sorts of ways.
So maybe we can work on this? Read more

how to befriend your inner emotional wiring


With mindfulness I know the key thing is to pay attention, accept the reality of what's happening, attune my attitude.

I also know it’s easier said than done. There's a lot of wiring to disentangle. It takes time, patience. Oh, and little dedication and effort too.

The main thing seems to be reminding yourself to recommit, to begin again, and to recognise situations that arise (good, bad, indifferent) as opportunities for doing so.

Essentially, it’s about training how to befriend your body and mind’s designed reactivity. It’s a reactivity that goes way back. You might think you’re all grown up.  But that’s mainly a matter of chronology. Really, you’re still coming to terms with many things that happened to you as a child.

As this video from The School of Life explains: it maybe that you need to befriend that inner child.


the best revenge


Ok, Mr or Mrs Mindful. You've been pilloried, abused, and undermined. And now you're exhausted. But not too exhausted to have revenge in mind.

So what do you do? Read more

who do you think you are?


I got diverted by a playlist on Spotify: a slice of Spice Girls memorabilia, circa '96. The refrain enticed, who-o-o- do you think you are? then re-echoed, do you think you are? It ricocheted me to an awareness of the following news item, circa 2012. Read more

little girl lost


Let us consider the little girl lost. 

The education system says it cares about her. And it does. It cares that her salvation lies in her academic attainment. Read more

consuming anger


A friend of mine just FB'd me a new year's resolution to become vegan. It got me thinking about this passage from Thich Nhat Hanh's Anger: Buddhist Wisdom for Cooling the Flames Read more

happy negative new year


This year I plan to use negativity to help me appreciate what I’ve got. It works like this: Read more

feel that tender ache in your heart.


Seems like only yesterday when my son was born. Now his feet fit into big shoes. Read more

how to rebuild


Today I decided to go to the gym. I do it about 3 times a week. Go to the gym, that is: not just decide to do so. I don’t workout as hard as I should perhaps (hello, self-critical voice) but nevertheless, I go. However, I now have restricted funds due to certain life transitions (hello hell realm). So I don't go to the gym as often as I'd like. But I do have a bike. I also have two arms and a sufficiently robust body attached to them. So I figure: I can move. Vigorously. I figure, I can get out. I figure, I can take in the air. I can run and jump. So I figure: things are basically good. 

As Mercutio said, in a completely different context: twill serve.

So this is the moment to rebuild.

Rebuilding starts with the body. Take up the pleasure of challenging yourself body-wise. It might be cycling a mite bit harder up that hill, or racing your kid to the nearest lamppost, or getting down to drill into 10 press-ups. It’s all there for you. The body will serve as a means to kick-start a healthy mind-buzz!

I challenge you to hit the floor, now!

There you go.

Feel better, right?.


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