the energy of being interested
Feb 29, 2020
Has it occurred to you that you can simply become interested in whatever is arising for you? That you can simply relax and become aware of what it is that is unfolding? It's actually quite a life-affirming feeling state. I'll give you an example, this morning I went for a walk. The morning was crisply cold. Prior to setting off I couldn't find my gloves. I knew that if I didn’t wear gloves my hands would start to feel cold and go numb. But I reasoned to myself, it’s not the most unpleasant feeling to be deprived of gloves. It’s not going to put me off walking. So, hand-wise, I was mentally prepared. It didn’t matter about the gloves. So I set off.
About a mile into the walk, by which time I’d completely forgotten about the comfort of wearing gloves, I felt a familiar ache arising from the soft tissue area at the back of my left knee. I was immediately assailed by a sense of doom. It was really very sudden. The ache triggered my mind back to a time when I had experienced pain in this particular area of my left knee. I saw myself in that place again: it was a wood, I was out with my two young boys. At the time I’d been immobilised by this sharp pain. It had set off feelings of inadequacy, shame, uselessness. And here I was now, in a different time and place, experiencing similar feelings due to the sudden re-emergence of a familiar sensation of discomfort and pain. The mind had suddenly propelled me into a state of frustration and confusion.
For a brief moment I resolved to turn back, go home, call off the walk. But then I thought: which me is having this thought of wanting to go home? Which me is having this thought inside my head? In doing so I became aware of this somewhat helpless child who needed to be reassured. I then made a conscious decision to feel into the discomfort; to just become interested in the experience of discomfort. Then a further curious experience arose: I felt energy emerge. I felt energy in my body and mind. I really became energised by exploring the subtlety and nuanced range of intensities manifesting themselves at the soft tissue area at the back of my left knee. Then, as if time had melted, I felt the pain recede, almost disappear. I actually felt strength in this area of the knee. I felt myself walking freely again. What a transformation, I thought. What a change. And it just came out of the energy of being interested. Nothing more, nothing less.
So may I suggest this? The next time you feel the sudden doom-like emergence of discomfort or pain - whether it be emotional or physical - see if you can check into the which me is having this thought in my head? Because the which me is not really you. The which me isn't the possibility of who you really are. The which me is just a transitory manifestation of who you think you are, or who you were told you are, way way back.
Remember this: there is a resource - a capacity - of energy within you that resides in the power of simply defaulting towards the energy of taking an interest in whatever is emerging for you: in what you are experiencing.
It's just experiencing that you are experiencing.
It's just an energy force passing through you.
So let it in. Let it out. Let it be.
Just simply become interested in what you are experiencing. When you do so you may realise the possibility of what it is to be transformed. You may also realise that transformation is powerfully available, especially in the midst of what is uncomfortable and sometimes painful.